From a different perspective

I had a dream the other night about Robert, my friend who died a year and a half ago. In the dream he was warm and friendly and recovering from the horrible disease that killed him, Multiple Sclerosis. In the dream, we hugged and talked about living the rest of our lives together in the country, sitting watching the seasons, the loons, the fog, the clouds go by. It all seemed very real and possible and the dream went on and on all night: I’d wake up and then fall right back into the dream.

Philip Roth’s American Pastoral talks a lot about dreams: dreams of what we think is happening, what is happening, what will happen to our dreams, our fantasies, our expectations. How good is not always rewarded by good, how life can throw a curved ball so unexpectedly and hit the dream. But then you might be able to look back and see why, how it happened. What my mother used to call “twenty-twenty hindsight.”

I was talking to a friend about all this today as we walked in the autumn sun through the park. She's reading books on decluttering your life. Not just on the physical level. Letting go of the past; moving on. One book suggested looking in your closet to find things you haven't used in a year. Then asking two questions: one, would it be worth paying money to store and two, does it make you smile to see it. To look at thoughts and feelings that way: wouldn't that be interesting!