A friend came over for a swim today. The water was perfect. It was my second time in today. Lila was in heaven. When we were drying off, I mentioned I have a hard time with other people often wanting a piece of the pie. Now that I have sold a few paintings and received a grant, I can pay off some debts, catch up and fix a few things around the house that have been waiting for the past year. It feels good. But even today, someone wrote me that, although we had agreed on a trade of services, now that I had sold some paintings, she would like money instead. It reminded me of the time I sold my loft in Manhattan and received a call from a casual friend asking me if she could borrow $4000 to pay a tax bill. She said: “There is no one I would rather borrow from than you.” Compliment?
My swimming buddy told me of an article she had read recently. It described how boys tend to pick on the weakest amongst them whereas girls pick on the most successful. She had experienced this in the grade school class she was teaching. The girls bullied another girl whose mother was successful, with the bully’s mother encourageing her daughter.
So somewhere in there is a balance. Balance between being successful, feeling good, and allowing other people to enjoy that in you/me.
I responded in a personal way to this post--I'm going through something similar to your own experience, with many recent sales--for me, it's the first time I've had what could be called a good income from my work. As you describe for yourself, the money is being used to pay off debts, do a few badly needed fixes on the house etc. And like you I also have had a certain amount of flack from others, including a very snide remark directed at me in a public meeting. I try to be sensitive to other people, and follow the general guidelines of "nice" midwestern behavior. Yet it seems I am bound to upset others simply by being successful, A common response, even from art friends, is that "you really must be cranking them out now!" which implies a certain compromising of standards. But really, I do not crank, I just am working really hard.
Congrats to you on your Danish show and recent sales!
Posted by: Rebecca at September 14, 2007 11:51 AMCongratulations, Rebecca! "Doing well" does get easier--dealing with the "flack". It just feels so good to be able to do well!
Posted by: Leya at September 14, 2007 03:15 PM