Random thoughts (about the senses and the pursuit of happiness)

I went to a bar yesterday with a friend I haven’t seen in a couple of years. He had a beer; I had some Perrier but that’s not the point. Behind him, over his head was a TV showing sports event. There was also one behind me, a couple over the bar and in every other corner (and center) of the room. Although neither of us was interested in what was on the TV, being genuinely wanting to talk to each other, catch up on our lives, I couldn’t help but glance occasionally up at the moving images on the screen. And I also noticed him doing the same. It was very distracting, disconcerting. When I came back to the apartment and mentioned this to Aaron and Jessica, Aaron said when he was studying dance and theatre at Concordia, he was told that any time you put a moving image of any kind behind you, attention automatically goes there; you become invisible. The only kind of light-image that can work is a slide show where the images change slowly.

The party Aaron, Jessica, Shaya and I went to Saturday night was a potluck. There were a lot of delicious dishes: cheeses, salads, casseroles, dips. The food was good, went quickly. Then the desserts came out. It was fascinating watching the faces and body postures of people approaching the elaborate dessert table. There was an eagerness, a ripple of joy running through the bodies, people eager to indulge. No longer the sensible adults enjoying a good meal, everyone became an excited child. Happiness from the taste of forbidden pleasures.

Often here either Aaron or Jessica ask me what I am saying and I realize how much I talk to myself. Lila doesn’t mind, but also notices. Now I am really noticing. My mother used to talk to herself a lot. It’s normal, right!