One of the things percolating in my thoughts about over the past few weeks was stimulated by a post on Ronnie’s blog, When Time Goes By (it was a few weeks back and of course I couldn’t find it again). She was saying the decrease in sexual longings with age is a relief—it’s a relief not to be driven by sexual needs. Not to be ruled by hormones. She, like many people, is content to be alone, with friends to fill communication needs, but without the ever present, indiscriminate lust that fills up so much time and energy when younger.
There is no doubt that it is easier not to feel driven by any need, whatever it might be. Perhaps that comes with age, maturity, the wisdom of experience along with the recession of hormonal energies.
There is do doubt, also, as she says, dating (or looking for sexual companionship) takes a lot of time and energy. She prefers to be able to choose to spend her Saturday nights alone reading, writing, being in control of what she does.
The numerous responses/comments to her thoughts were mainly in agreement. Yes, it is great to be master of your own energies. I can agree with that. But what feels strange to me is the complete acceptance of the loss of desire for physical contact. I don’t see it the same way. I haven’t lost the desire, just the recklessness that went with it when I was younger. Most of the time I don’t mind living alone. I’m sad there are not more possibilities for physical contact with another person but that seems to be what happens with age. I do see (and I myself find I and) most older people have the habit of caressing themselves, rubbing their arms, face, hands. Better that than nothing, it seems. But wouldn’t it be nice if, in our elder wisdoms, we could more easily share both the mind and the body with another person. As a choice.
Posted by leya at September 2, 2006 08:30 PM