April 08, 2006

Robert

My friend Robert died on April 1. A fitting day, for a man who saw the irony of life and little of the joy, yet had a wicked sense of humor and sharp perception. He called himself “philosophically challenged.” He did not have an easy life nor an easy death. But with the help of his compassionate caregiver, Cynthia, and her team, it feels like he made peace with himself, with his life and death, at the very end.

As he instructed before he died, Cynthia is going to pack up and send a pile of books he left me. He’s famous here for the books he sends me. They are almost always one’s I enjoy reading and I also enjoy passing them on to friends. I will miss our phone calls, our conversations and I will miss the boxes of books he sent. But I am very glad he is not suffering any more.

I feel his presence at night. We still have some thoughts to exchange. It’s not painful. But very very sad.

Posted by leya at April 8, 2006 04:31 PM
Comments

Hi,I was searching for lake photos and saw you has some percell's pond pics.I like your work.

Posted by: marissa at April 8, 2006 06:59 PM

Thanks, Marissa.

Posted by: Leya at April 9, 2006 12:24 PM

Leya, I'm sorry for your loss. I started reading your blog at the time you were writing about your struggles in dealing with Robert's decline in health. You wrote so beautifully about your love and friendship, and were so honest about including the challenges and anger. How wonderful for Robert to be free from his ailing body, and how wonderful for you to have had such a powerful presence imprinted upon your heart.

Posted by: Sadie at April 9, 2006 01:27 PM

Thanks, Sadie. It is definitely a relief to know he is not suffering any longer. And it sounds possible, at the very end, he did overcome a lot of his anger. I hope so.

Posted by: Leya at April 9, 2006 05:57 PM

Once again, I am sorry about Robert's passing. It's a good thing that he is not suffering any longer and hopefully he is gone on to something more liberating. Maybe I'll see you this week?

Posted by: Heidi at April 9, 2006 09:38 PM

Leya, I'm sorry to hear about Robert's death, but I'm glad you had the chance to see him, to perhaps resolve things...I'll be thinking about you.

Posted by: Rachel at April 10, 2006 10:53 AM