I found myself in the Public Library one day last week. It is across the street from my Tango class and I had (�time to kill�? what a strange expression; why would I want to kill time. I want time on my side of the fence; or was it �time on my hands�? Would it weigh a lot, would I still be able to paint and play the piano with the weight of time on my hands? So, I had) enough time before dance started to check it out. I don't think I have ever taken a book out here in Halifax. Rarely (if ever) went to the library in New York. I did get a card a year ago when the branch opened near here. It was always so overwhelming to me, the idea that I would have to get a book back at a certain date�and so much to choose from. But I have been reading constantly lately, so I was brave this time. The book I signed out was by Sue Miller, Lost in the Forest. It is an extraordinary, intensely felt, intimate, exquisitely written domestic drama about loss, love and transformation; I finished it in two days. Next time I go into the library I will bring the list given to me by some literature professor friends.
I often have felt just as overwhelmed in bookstores. Sometimes even a major panic attack, rarely calm enough to buy a book. One of the best parts of my marriage was that he would read the reviews, buy the books, and I would read them. It saved me having to spend time in the stores, from the panic I usually felt there.
Lately though I�ve spent some pleasant hours in bookstores with Aaron and Jessica and also with Tamar, Dan and Damian. They�ve helped reduce my fears. We mill around, browse, and talk about various books, what we have read, want to read. Mostly, when I want a book, I browse the second hand bookstores. I like the feel of books that have been read before. And my friend in Rhode Island sends me a large box of books he�s read a couple of times a year. A real treat. I also have friends closer to home, here in Halifax, who pass books around. Right now I have placed a large number of books on my friend Inge�s shelves. There are several of us doing this, poking around in each other�s literary lives. Our own private library. But I keep my long-time favorites, my close friends, at home on my own shelves so that I can lend them out and know where they went.
Posted by leya at September 27, 2005 07:36 AM